Hi Loves! Last week’s post talked about my lack of motivation and how I got away from why I started this series.
1-To help keep myself accountable
2-To actually improve health
Both factors have been overlooked and after some serious thought over Thanksgiving – I’m quitting something for the first time ever. I’m going to put the previous 30 day -squat- challenge on hold. I might go back or I might just move on. For now – its time for a little change.
First – an admission that will lead up to my new 30 day plan.
This is hard for me to type – so bear with me. I’ve never really mentioned this to people other than a few of my really close friends and family – if you’re one of them – you might not know this or you’ve known all along. I suffer from anxiety. I’ve never been formally diagnosed but at times, I get really anxious and nervous. It does run in my family – but the past few years I’ve been working really hard at finding healthy ways to “deal.” I don’t believe medicating something like this is the right way for me to deal and I don’t have anxiety on a daily basis. However – certain situations can trigger a sense of unease or even demise. I know some people reading this might think – really?! Demise? Aren’t you over reacting?! Um…no. Actually – for me in some scenarios – that is exactly what it feels like. I feel a lack of control in a situation and immediately my heart races, my hands clench up and get sweaty – tensing muscles into my arms, neck,shoulders, and then down my hips and legs. My throat gets dry – like crazy dry. All the while my mind is racing with “what if’s” – sometimes valid, other times not. Some times I get teary – I think my mind is pulled in so many directions its a gut reaction to feel vulnerable in that moment. I can also get so anxious that my face is flushed and on fire or I’m pale as a ghost. Other times – the anxiety literally makes me sick – like dry heaves sick. These bouts of anxiety can last for minutes to hours. (A select few family members have been around during this – if you tell me to “just relax” – I’ll punch you in the face. Just let me process and I’ll get over it. For some reason calling me out on what I sincerely view as a weakness on my part – adds anger and frustration to the mix.) I know deep down that this is not a weakness but something millions of people deal with – but until I have found ways to successfully handle this – its a weakness to me. 99% of the time – I’m quite adapt at hiding this so if you know me personally – you have no clue. Some times I’m not a cleaver as I think at hiding it. Also – 99% of the time, if at all possible – I remove myself from the situation and re-group. Gather my thoughts, change my focus until I am able to continue. Typing that entire paragraph was a challenge – but I’m leaving it in. Its not that well but if I keep “messing” with it- this post will never be finished!
NOW – on to an attempt at a solution – Yoga!
The holidays can bring on a lot of stress and frustration on a good day. I feel this is the perfect attempt at finding some balance in my life and be healthy. I’ve dabbled in yoga off and on for a few years – but I’m going to do a video every day for a month.
I like the style of Yogi Adriene – I’m starting with her complete beginner video and its only 23 minutes. (Click here to see the video I’m doing.) I like that she is relaxing to me, and encourages you to just feel the moment and movements instead of being focused on technique. There are a couple basic moves but she incorporates some stretching which felt AMAZING after sitting in front of a computer all day. Its a wonderful starting point. I’ll let you know know next week how week 1 went and the next 6 days of video.
I’ve started on Dec 1 – Monday – and even though this goes live on Tuesdays (Dec 2) you can jump on or take on your own challenge until New Years Day! (I have to take a moment and point out – that its December?! Whoa!)
I completed my first day last night – it was a struggle. Yoga isn’t as easy as one might think BUT I could do downward dog…not as long as the she did but I paused and tried again. And the warrior poses were a wake up call to my thighs! Those are less pressure but just as intense as a lunge for me! Yet – when I was done – I felt amazing, relaxed, and recharged.
Check back next week to see how I’ve done and whats next in the 30 days of Yoga plan!
Thanks for making it to the end of my lengthy post today!