Happy Sunday Loves!
So unfortunately last week I had a pretty rough anxiety attack. Honestly might have been one of the worst I’ve had ever. I know my triggers and not getting sleep is one, mixed with bad headache, throw in a dash of anxiety and BAM. The perfect storm.
This one was different, maybe I was so beyond tired and overwhelmed that I just spiraled into a meltdown. Except this was different because I felt like I was kicked in the gut and couldn’t breathe. I was obviously breathing but it was fast and shallow. Actually looking back, I remember having that one other time. The time I was in a pretty good car accident that I walked away from fine but ended up with a list of problems like a slight concussion, broken rib, and deep tissue bruises. About twenty minutes after the accident, I experienced the kick in the gut, the erratic breathing, crying, and not being able to catch my breath. Its actually pretty ugly to see. Well I haven’t seen it, but if its anything like it feels, it can’t be good.
While it was happening first I was blindsided by emotions. Then I realized I needed to stop, embrace the emotions flooding out of me, and breathe thru it. It was hard at first to clear my head and just breathe. I’m not going to lie, it scared me a bit. Thankfully during the entire evening leading up to and after the attack I’d been texting one of my best friends. He understands what I’m going through and we’re just there for each other when we need to be.
Once I calmed down, and was able to think clearly, I decided that August was going to be a self care month. Some times I get so hyper-focused on silly little details that I forget to take care of myself. While I’m struggling to get back into my yoga groove, I decided for the month of August I’m going to write whatever is on my mind right before bed for 10 minutes. So far, I’ve done it every day and find myself drifting off to sleep much faster than before. I’m hoping this will help me keep my mind from going crazy, and really hope to get back into yoga. Working a busier job and then having things going on in the evenings has been difficult to find a good time to do yoga. I’m not giving up yet, just have to get some things untangled first.
Last week I gained the weight I lost the week before- but stairs aren’t bugging me as much, and I’m hopeful I can get back into a healthier groove very soon. Until next Sunday loves. xo